Dear Old Betty
by TheInfiniteChaser
Summary: It was the middle of the night when young Tadase Hotori woke up with a cold sweat. He'd just had one of the weirdest dreams of his life; in fact, one could say almost scarring. What this dream consisted of, you see, was not him and Amu falling on love, or him fighting off his evil arch-nemesis "Tsukiyomi Ikuto!" It was way worse. He'd dreamed of his deceased dog, Betty.


It was the middle of the night when young Tadase Hotori woke up with a cold sweat. He'd just had one of the weirdest dreams of his life; in fact, one could say _almost scarring._

What this dream consisted of, you see, was not him and Amu falling on love, or him fighting off his evil arch-nemesis "Tsukiyomi Ikuto!", or even when Amu fell into his inflatable amber jelly crown, in which you could see her pantie- ahem. Moving on.

Oh no.

It was worse.

**_Way worse._**

He'd dreamed of his deceased dog, Betty.

You remember dear old Betty, right? That lovely long haired, grey-gold coloured Afghan Hound. The one who Tadase turned Amu down for? No?

Okay then; let's recap.

_"Prince, I like you!" A character changed Amu called out as she jumped up out of her seat in front of the whole school body._

_Tadase closed his eyes, with no remorse, and calmly said, "I'm sorry. There's already someone I like."_

_And it was then Amu's tiny, insignificant heart broke in a million pieces, but no one cared because she's a stupid 12 year old who can't make up who she likes and therefore interferes with my OTPs IkuKai, Rimahiko, and Ranfus*._

I knew you'd remember.

Anyway, this was what his dream consisted of:

_He was walking down a moonlit path in a black forest of Japan, somewhere. 'I'm nearly home,' is what he chanted to himself as the sudden, short noises of twigs snapping and winds that sounded like panting filled his scared ears. He sped up his pace in the hopes he'd pass through the light at the end quicker, but no matter what he did, the light got narrower and further away, until finally, it was gone and he was shrouded in complete darkness._

_Out of nowhere, a bark resounded through the echoing woods. It was familiar... almost the same as... but no, she's dead, it couldn't be..._

_Oh, but it was!_

_His dear Betty, alive and kickin'._

_"Betty!" he called out happily- that is, until he noticed the chain she held in her mouth. "B-Betty...? Come here, girl..."_

_"No, you come here, bitch."_

_"H-Huh? You.. You can talk?!"_

_"Yeah."_

_"Why, that's great! We can talk to each other now, Betty! And get to know each other better~"_

_"Oh, we'll get to know each other better alright," the dog growled in delight, a mischievous glint gleaming in her eyes._

_Tadase froze. There was something wrong with this whole scenario._

_And that's when he saw it._

_The sparkling pink dildo attached to the front of his precious baby._

_He turned and ran, not knowing where to go, but he didn't care. He had to get away from that.. that thing! That couldn't be his dog, not his Betty! There was just no-_

_Before he could finish his train of thought, he was suddenly pushed to the dirty forest floor and then..._

_And then..._

_He felt it._

And that was when he woke up.

Although, as scarring as it was, when he felt butterflies in his stomach from what he thought was fear, he looked under his covers.

What else to find, but some morning wood.

I always knew he'd take it up the ass.

**#THE END#**

**Notes:**

***Ranfus stands for Ran x Rufus, the naked mole rat from Kim Possible. This entire fanfiction and that pairing is an inside joke, but if you laughed anyway, that's nice.**

***Bettase is a real ship that sails itself - Betty x Tadase. It's legitimate.**

***This entire story, as I've already stated, is an inside joke between me and one of my best friends. It is by no means real or serious; in fact, quite the opposite. It's labelled humour and parody for a reason, guise.**

***I know Tadase isn't gay. I don't hate him either, he's just fun to pick on. You know, Tadagay and all that xD**

***I don't own Shugo Chara! in any way, shape or form. That belongs solely to Peach-Pit. If I did, however, there would be a lot of yaoi undertones and IkuKai. I love me some IkuKai.**

**CHLOE, IF YOU READ THIS, I LOVE YOU~ XD**

**Oh, and I should add: I don't hate Amu either x) After reading the manga a couple of times, she just got on my nerves :)**

One more thing ;D You won't even question it at all, but just to let you know; black forest is another inside joke. It's a reference about this boy at my school who's legs really stood out on Sports day. Like... a whole forest... on his legs... ...he has nice legs though. xD


End file.
